If you’re reading material about psychology, psychiatry and spirituality, you probably read some things about bipolar disorder already. Have you ever wonder how bipolar disorder looks or feels like? Have you been in contact with anyone suffering from bipolar disorder? Or are you perhaps on a rollercoaster of bipolarity too? Then this article is for you.
Many authors claim that having a bipolar disorder is similar to siting on the rollercoaster. Why so? Let me explain some facts about bipolar disorder and some of my personal experiences and thoughts on this topic.
Imagine waking up in a totally different world than you know it. That’s where depression and/or mania set place.
Bipolar disorder or so called “manic-depressive disorder” is by definition itself a mental disorder, diagnosed as the psychiatrical illness. It causes unusual shifts in mood, extreme cycles of never-ending ups and downs; it also affects activity levels, concentration and the ability to tackle daily tasks. In terms of spirituality these uncertain phases of mood and energy would probably be called “the awakening process”, existential crisis and/or shadow work.
There are three types of bipolar disorder (Bipolar I Disorder, Bipolar II Disorder and Cyclothymic Disorder). All three types involve changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. A person with bipolar disorder can feel extremely down (depression occurs) and after a while another extreme takes effect – being and feeling extremely up (high and energetic) (manic episode). That’s just a little bit of general basic facts, so you can understand what bipolar is. But let’s dive deep into practice.
So, how to live with bipolarity? How to keep balance when your thoughts and feelings are changing like the outside weather? You never truly know if it’s going to rain, if it’ll be a thunderstorm or a hot sunny day. However you can be prepared. Following weather forecasts and more importantly – keeping sunglasses and umbrella in your bag. Why am I talking about umbrella and sunglasses? Because, as written before – it’s how the bipolar extremes function. You can be full of energy wearing sunglasses on a sunny day at one moment and then all of the sudden (it can be in the next day, in the next few days, next few weeks) a massive thunderstorm hits you. All of this is a metaphor for phases of mania and depression. Mania could be described as a hot sunny day and depression as a cold rainy day. Include spirituality and you can expect foggy or a rainbow-clad day.
Many people write that bipolar disorder is nothing more than spiritual awakening. So why is it diagnosed as a psychotic disease? It’s simple. You woke up from »the matrix« probably too early and your brain can’t separate true signs of awakening from delusions of the mind, which are often stored as emotions, thoughts and traumas. That’s why bipolar is one of the hardest diseases/states to handle. How to separate awakening symptoms from delusions?
Maybe you already heard about spiritual bypassing. One of the first authors who defined and introduced spiritual bypassing, in the early 1980s, was John Welwood – clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, a Buddhist teacher and writer, known for integrating psychological and spiritual concepts.
In short: spiritual bypassing has been defined as the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional traumas, psychological issues and unfinished developmental steps (at this point we can talk about the critically acclaimed term “comfort zone” – the easy way out or a way to nowhere). John Welwood talks about spiritual bypassing in his classic book, »Toward a Psychology of Awakening«. There he defined spiritual bypassing as use of »spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional »unfinished business«, to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks«. The foundation is avoidance and repression; for many individuals spirituality serves as an escape from real, »earthly« life. As opposed to spiritually bypassing, the aim of these practices is to achieve acknowledgement and understanding.
What is so special and important about spiritual practices, which help acknowledge our repressed feelings/emotions? Practices are the helping tool when we get stuck in the illusion of the mind. Emotions, traumas that are being bypassed can be a cause of many diseases, particularly seen in bipolar disorder. I suggest visiting a good psychotherapist who will help you with acknowledging the emotion and explain how it affected your body and mind ’till now. That’s one of the ways you start handling them: with trust and openness. Another thing is reading. Educating yourself about your state, your illness and finding practical solutions which suit you. Not everybody is the same. But at this point I want to point out that using spirituality to avoid, suppress or escape from issues in life is a dangerous road to walk. Use spiritual practices when you’re ready to dissolve your emotions, traumas, past thoughts; only then, with acknowledging, you can use spirituality and spiritual practices as a helpful tool to grow as a person and heal yourself.
“What you resist, persists.”
Carl G. Jung
From my personal experiences I can say, that »go with the flow« with extreme downs and ups wasn’t manageable. But I started healing myself in a very rough, painful way. Admitting my problems, opening up to someone, convincing and cheering for myself that I want to make a change in my life. It was damn hard but I made it. I still feel my mind misses these extremes of creativity and then again blue sadness, for I believed that is who I was. But I learned that this is far from the truth. So I don’t compare myself or compete with others, other »healthy wealthy« people, anymore. I “compete” only with myself, my past self, my NOW self, because I know I’m always in the process of growing and becoming the best version of myself. And that is all that matters. This is who I am. Because I am/we are not our disease. I am/we are individuals with personality, history, hopes, experiences; I am/we are everything what flawesome human beings are allowed to be – Free, but still careful.
More about useful practices how to deal with bipolar disorder in the following articles.
So… My opinion is, that we shouldn’t treat bipolar disorder so roughly. If you think about it – the heart beat itself is bipolar. Even life as a whole with its ups and downs, is bipolar. So all we can do is throw ourselves into the deep ocean’s waters of life and face the fear of bipolar waves; diving deep. Life isn’t simple and bipolar is everything but simple, but living a complicated life is what makes our living on this planet worthwhile. All we have to do is be prepared and, between all the shitstorms, enjoying all of the little moments, bad and good. Imperfect yet still flawesome bipolar life. Find your own balance, find the silver lining. You don’t have to be a girl from Prozac Nation, neither do you have to be Bruce Almighty. Just try to keep your balance and avoid extremes.
“Normal ups and downs are life, not a disease.“
May Rose
Let’s admit: everyone is a little bipolar. May the sun NOT shine too bright for your sunglasses and may your rain NOT be too heavy for your umbrella. Every one of us is at least a little bipolar. Your heart is still beating. Are you bipolar or aren’t you? 🙂
May Rose
Moment in time 